Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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