I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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