Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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