....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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