I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
