i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
