I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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