This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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