Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
