I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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