I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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