The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
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