i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
