Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize