ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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