I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
