You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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