Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i will never coherently bang her
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
