btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
