So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
