Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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