Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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