I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
