He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
