ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
