Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
