I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
