This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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