a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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