Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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