you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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