I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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