i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
