It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
