You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
