See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
