Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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