he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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