I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
