So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
