and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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