in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize