I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
this just has baby written all over it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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