I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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