i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
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I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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