Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
