take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i drank out of a bidet.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
