Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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