Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I had to cum in my sink.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
