you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
