Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
