i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
he high fived his dick after we had sex
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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