Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
