omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
