So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
