Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
