He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
