I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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