So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
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They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
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hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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