Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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