I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
