Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
