so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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