You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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